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Managing Mom
sometimes mom can tend to get a little too excited, be a little too involved, and feel a little too opinionated. You want to be respectful of her wishes, but this day has to be a representation of the new life you are starting as husband and wife. Sometimes mom needs to be reigned in a bit and reminded that as much as this is her big day, it’s yours, too!
Below I have outlined a few tips to consider during the planning process. Not only will these help with managing mom and her expectations, but they can be applied to the entire family.
Establish Boundaries
Wedding planning can be extremely stressful, so it’s important to establish boundaries in the beginning of the process. Make it clear that you’re excited for mom to help, but let her know nicely that she will not be calling the shots. Over Communicate
Keep mom in the loop! You want her to feel like she plays a role, and to find those specific places for her to help, and to feel helpful. Let her know when all your appointments are and invite her to the ones you see fit. Treat her to lunch and fill her in on all the fun details. The digital age has made communication so much easier; text her a color palate, share your Pinterest board with her, or even keep all wedding materials on Google Docs so they can be easily shared! Be Honest
If you don’t like it, tell her! Be open and honest when confirming details. If mom suggests something that does not fit or is not your style, find a nice way to tell her. It is better to be honest than have a terrible bridesmaid dress or out-of-place flower arrangement! Assign Duties
This is key! Not only will it make mom feel involved but it will save you a lot of stress. Assign tasks that you know she can accomplish, which will make her feel great. Typically, elements that you are not as particular about are good ones to hand off. She can then feel ownership and use her creativity! Confirm a Budget
Everybody likes to avoid this conversation but it’s the most important! It can sometimes be awkward, but sit down at the start of the process and establish the budget. How much are your parents willing to contribute and who will be paying for what, etc.
Keep in mind that not only is this your big day but it is also your mom’s, so make sure you are sensitive to her feelings but reign her in when needed. At the end of the day your wedding is the symbol of two families coming together to create a new family. It is important to respect family members and their feelings but make sure you have a voice!
