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The Dual Wedding Dilemma
One couple. Two countries. What’s a bride to do!?
When my Australian beau popped the question, I was blinded by joy (okay, and the shiny ring…but mostly joy, I swear)! We had always discussed having a split or dual wedding; one here is Los Angeles and another in Sydney where his family resides. As tightly knit as his side is, a 15 hour plane ride is a big ask, especially for those with kids and we wanted to be respectful and accommodating. It wasn’t until we got down to brass tacks that we realized what we were in for! I don’t want you to agonize like I did, so read on for some tips from yours truly about managing your multiple nuptials!
“Oh, we’re having two weddings!” is a phrase I learned to very quickly nix from my vocabulary. Friends and even some family who weren’t in on all the detail of our trans-oceanic situation didn’t dig it. “Right but which one is the real wedding?” That stung. For some, the thought of two weddings sounded selfish. And while a wedding is about the bride and groom, being thought of as selfish is never fun. Worse than that, you’re stuck defending yourself and your big day! Try a different phrase like a “split wedding” or distinguish each wedding by its location or religious significance. Once we started referring to each wedding individually it became easier for people to understand.
Let’s face it, you get to do your wedding twice! So why do two carbon copies of the same day? Is wedding #1 the more formal family affair? Then why not make #2 a picnic wedding! Keep the vows totally different so that you’re both speaking from the heart and all your guests get to see a completely different side of you and your love for one another. When you make the details individual to each wedding your guests will take away a rich experience filled with the most personal moments you can give. (Also, let’s be honest, we all have like 30 different styles of favors and escort cards on our Pinterest, right? How fun would it be to use two of them!?)
Okay, so we all dream about our dress. We know it the second we see it. We don’t, however, always plan on how much it will cost to get it to…say…Sydney from Los Angeles in time for the (second) big day when your airline won’t let you take it as a carry on item and you’re too terrified to check it! Never fear! You have options. If you plan to wear the same dress for both celebrations, be sure to factor in cost and time for shipping the dress or any excess baggage fees your airline may charge. Most airlines, provided your dress isn’t too poofy, will store it in the first class closet. It does count as your carry-on item though! But remember, not all airlines have closet space. Always give yourself time to check with your airline to ensure that your dress will be safe at 30,000 feet. Be sure to check with TSA as well for screening procedures for your gown. Maybe you want to mix it up a bit between the two dates! Consider a more simple, easy to transport gown for the destination day. Whether it’s little and lace, or a slimming sheath style, we know you’ll knock his socks off both times you take to the aisle!
Did I mention budget? Remember that each location is a totally different market. What costs $2,000 in one city could cost a lot more in another! A coordinator can help you mitigate these dollar sign hurdles, and save you money along the way. But ultimately it’s up to you two to decide on the final figure. Don’t forget exchange rates if you are going outside of the country. While this can sometimes be a blessing, it can also make budgeting pretty tricky when values fluctuate over a period of days and banks charge a hefty percentage for converting your cash. (We LOVE these regional wedding cost statistics, check them out!)
Planning a wedding can be really stressful, so imagine how planning two can be!? Add in that at least one of them is likely not on your stomping ground and you’ve got on wild situation on your hands. A coordinator knows the area and the best vendors in town. They also work hard to save you a fair bit of money, and when you’re planning multiple weddings every dollar counts! Rarely is it feasible for an out of town (or country!) couple to attend every vendor meeting, so having a coordinator who can take these on for you saves you time, stress and money!
This one may be the most important. Remember that this whole experience is about more than flowers and silks. It’s the start of your lives together, and you get to share it with everyone you hold most dear. That is something truly special. So long as you love each other completely, it will be perfect. Until next time,
Elizabeth
